Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

AMERICAN-BORN GRAMMAR SCHOOL CHILDREN,

DESCENDANTS OF IMMIGRANTS, AND THEIR

DIVINE WORSHIP PREFERENCES

Thirteen grammar school children, seven male and six female American-born descendants of Greek immigrants, provided one hundred and thirty responses to the personal inquiries in the questionnaire. Their responses are examined in some detail in the narratives that follow. (See Biographical and Divine Worship Preferences Data, 148-150)

Narrative Comment

Concerning age. Responding children in this category were volunteers like all others. Their ages ranged from six to twelve years. Little boys are received as acolytes at Saint Nicholas at the age of five. Little girls are welcomed in the choir as soon as they feel they are ready to sing. There is no distinction between adults and children.

Many parents are hesitant to permit their children to come to the altar because they are afraid that their children will not be able to stand quietly and obediently. They are afraid their children will embarrass them with unruly behavior. Since everyone in the altar is exposed to the whole congregation, parents readily admit they do not cherish the thought that their child will appear to be unduly restless and distracting.

However, we have found the opposite to be the case. Exposure to view before the whole congregation seems to make a special impact upon children. Even children reported to be "destructive" at home are swept up in the expected role with all others at the altar and stand there alert, motionless and responsive to instruction. It is almost as if they no longer can determine their own behavior, but that the Lord is in total control in His holy temple and in his people. They stand around the altar gravely waiting to be assigned a task. It is assumed that no task would be asked of anyone unless they have demonstrated they are able to perform it. Once they are assigned a task, the responsibility is theirs alone. The prideful expressions of satisfaction that light up their faces upon return to the altar after successful completion of a task is indescribable. Parents shudder in horror at the thought that their little boy might trip and fall and drop the altar torch he is holding. They gaze in disbelief as their little boy, vested heavily, carries a forty-eight-inch altar torch when he is barely forty-two inches tall.

The benefits are many and varied. When they reach eight years of age, they are eligible to read the epistle if they wish. They have no difficulty standing before a large number of people performing a task adults may find difficult or impossible to do.

Most of all, it is our contention that the opportunity for spiritual development and growth for the child around the altar is singular. No other aspect of church life, for a child, is comparable to the experiential learning and becoming that take place at such an early age around the altar, before the Holy of Holies. By the time the child is a teenager, he is much better armed to engage in the crusade for survival.

Family status and place of birth. The responding children and their parents are, without exception, native Americans. There are few ethnic families at Saint Nicholas. Most are inter-church marriages and many families are comprised wholly of non-Greek extraction. The backgrounds of the people at Saint Nicholas are an amalgam of the ethnic composition of the immediate Virginia Beach community. Neither the husbands nor the wives are formerly from any one religious denomination more than from another in significant numbers. As a result of the national makeup of the families, there is no tendency to come to Saint Nicholas because of any ethnic or cultural identification. They come because they know the chief purpose for what happens at Saint Nicholas is the worship of Almighty God in a worshipful Orthodox environment.

Education. Respondent children are distributed somewhat evenly in grammar school grades except for third grade in which there is one and in the fourth grade in which there is none. Every boy who volunteered to respond is an altar boy. Altar boys do well in school, and teachers report that they are anxious to be heard and are not fearful about standing before the class to speak in making a report or giving a speech as a candidate for the student council. They credit their experience as readers, during services, for their abilities to do these things. Parents give considerable credit to altar boy activity for their children's well-rounded social development.

Little girls are joining the choir which is situated up front, facing the people. Of the six girls that responded, four are presently in the choir.

Parents' occupation. Business, and particularly the restaurant business as a livelihood, ranks lowest among the parents of our young respondents. They are not as easily enticed as were their parents and grandparents by the sixteen-hour workday, the separation from the family, and from the church. They will not be denied the opportunity to develop a growing, intimate, sharing relationship with their children in the early foundational years of their lives.

Parents' education. All the parents of respondents are Greek Orthodox. Not one parent is without a high school diploma. All have a high school diploma which ranks higher in number only than the number who have a terminal degree. Two out of three hold a bachelor's and one out of five holds a master's degree. The level of academic accomplishment continues to rise annually as parents seek to explore other fields of endeavor while rearing a family.

One such example is that of a young man in his late thirties who is a local college graduate and a member of the parish council. He sold his restaurant and is pursuing Law at a local university. There are numerous such additional examples.

The challenge to gratify the intellect as well as the soul when bringing the Word to this erudite congregation is exciting. A climate exists in which listeners respond spontaneously as their scholarly minds are engaged with equal enthusiasm. What is happening here between priest and congregation is indicative of faith being reinforced through reason.

The thirteen grammar school children interviewed, provided one hundred and thirty responses to the inquiries in the questionnaire. Their responses were spontaneous, unequivocating and totally candid. They are examined in considerable detail in the narratives that follow.

Concerning the language. Not all the children abandon the Greek language. Nine of the thirteen prefer the English language in worship, but four prefer the Greek language wholly or in part. One of the children wants both languages because he can understand the one and learn the Greek.

There is a refreshing sense of justice and compassion in the concerned responses of the children. They say it is only fair that people from other lands who cannot understand English be provided worship in the Greek language. Some feel that the Greek language in worship is smoother, more beautiful, and spiritual. On the other hand, those who have been worshiping in English and know what is happening, do not mind what language is used. Most of them, however, prefer the English language because they understand it. But to consider the language needs of immigrants without begrudging those portions of their liturgy recited in the Greek language is a first.

Prior to having two separate and distinct divine liturgies, one in Greek and another in English, one liturgy was celebrated with an even mixture of Greek and English. Having two languages in one and the same Divine Liturgy, however, didn't solve anything. Instead, there was even more whining and complaining that there was more of the other language than the one the complainer preferred.

Then, at last, it was decided that Saint Nicholas would offer two complete divine liturgies, one in Greek complete with a Greek sermon, and one in English, complete with an English sermon. And with this decision and its implementation, peace came to the community.

The puzzling thing has always been about what happened to those persons who with such anger and viciousness attacked the use of the English language. There was now a completely Greek liturgy they could attend without any English interruptions whatever. Instead, they have disappeared. Perhaps they came originally for other reasons than to worship.

Historically, there has been strong resistance from within the Tidewater area to the establishment of a parish in Virginia Beach. The Greek language liturgy they claimed they wanted, has never been utilized. Moreover, the same persons have directed their attacks in another direction now. Some little children, however, are willing to surrender parts of their liturgy so another language may serve the spiritual and language needs of other Christians (APPENDIX B, 206-207, G-1,2). They are willing to deny

themselves for the benefit of their elders. The little children practice their faith in the worship setting.

Concerning the εικovoστάσιov. There is total agreement concerning the εικovoστάσιov at Saint Nicholas. Boys want to be able to see what is happening in the Holy of Holies. Their reasons include the fact that the screen separates the altar from the people, as it should, but it lets them see what is going on the whole time. They want the people who are at a distance in the nave to be able to see everything that happens at the altar.

Girls, too, are very laconic when expressing their views. They prefer the εικovoστάσιov as it is at Saint Nicholas, with a completely see-through partition between the sanctuary and the nave. They like the icons situated on the wall behind the altar. They like how the depicted saints look down upon the proceedings on the table. They like everything in the sanctuary to be seen.

Boys and girls, too, just as their parents, want to be able to see everything that is happening in the sanctuary. It is important for them to feel that nothing is kept from them. They want to be included.

Concerning the priest. Children, much like their parents, prefer the priest to face the congregation just as the teacher does at school. After the interviews, in an extended discussion, they spoke how they feel sometimes that the priest doesn't know whether they are there or not. They want the priest to know they are present. They feel that if the priest knows they are there, it is as if God knows, too. They maintain they would like to see what the priest is doing if it is so important for children to go to church.

But four of the thirteen children surveyed have no particular preference where the priest stands when he celebrates the Divine Liturgy. They concede that it is better for the priest to make that decision. Furthermore, some do not feel it makes any difference where the priest stands. Those who are altar boys declared they can see what is happening wherever the priest stands so it doesn't matter to them.

Another view is that people can understand better what they are saying when facing one another. Another child added that it doesn't matter if the priest faces the people or if the people can see what the priest is doing. There are some things that need to be done and said whether the people can see and understand or not. Some children seem to simply consider it a priest's decision to make as to where he should locate himself.

Concerning the use of incense. According to the young, incense may carry blessings with it. Further, it symbolizes prayers ascending up to God. For one child, there can be no blessing without incense, while another maintains it is immaterial when and how much is used, almost as if he were not worthy to make such a determination.

The boys were not inhibited at all in their responses while the little girls seemed cautious. They foster the notion that there is something intrinsically "holy" about incense and that when a priest uses the censer, blessings are activated. The children, however, feel that when the priest uses it, he must take into consideration that some people may be ill or suffer with allergies. Some attribute sneezing in the church to incense (APPENDIX B, 229, H-2).

Concerning the practice of kneeling. All the respondents prefer that people kneel during the consecration. Kneeling, they feel, is the way to show proper respect to God during that most important event during the liturgy. At that moment, they believe, God is present and they should bow their heads and kneel. Children regard kneeling as a sign of humility, a quality the Lord holds in the highest regard (APPENDIX B, 235, G-4).

Concerning acolytes. Boys make no secret about their resistance to the idea of girl acolytes. They call upon tradition to support their position. Of the seven boys' responses, six leave no doubt about their preference for boys only in the altar. They are not hesitant about admitting that they do not like to have girls in the altar. This attitude was totally unforeseen because little boys show so much deference to the needs of those who do not understand the English language. They feel that fairness dictates everyone should be able to worship in his own language. Yet, in the matter of acolytes, they object strongly to sharing the altar with the girls. The question also arises whether at such an early age, while serving as acolytes in the house of God, there lurks the danger that these occasions can be harbingers of adult bigotry and sexism. Some think it may be that the Lord is speaking to us through the innocent and pure hearts of children.

On the other hand, the little girls' responses unanimously make room for little girls somewhere up front. Half of them say that girls belong in the sanctuary. One-third feel that they at least should be permitted to approach the σoλέα where they could hold crosses or candles with the boys. And one is of the opinion that girls should be permitted to be acolytes but not in the same services with the boys (APPENDIX B, 243, H-1).

In some circles, the position is taken that full equality and personhood ought to be possible in the church because it is the Christian gospel that makes this possible. One would expect that equal opportunity for women in the church, in service to Almighty God, would be difficult to oppose ethically, morally, and spiritually. Surely, there can be no doubt that God's Son lived and died and was raised for all.

According to Elizabeth Achetemeier, it is the responsibility of the church to proclaim the good news of the New Testament and to witness to it, uncompromisingly, to the world.[1]

Paradoxically, no institution in our society has been more reluctant to grant equal rights to women than has the body of Christ itself. We deny our gospel before the cynical eyes of the world when we deny freedom of status and function to any person, male or female. We need not rehearse here the sorry record of the church's stance toward its women members . . . We have too often proclaimed a gospel that we have not lived, as not only the women but also the blacks, the poor, the social outcasts can readily attest. "Personhood" has been a word on our lips, but often far from our hearts (cf. Isa. 29:13).[2]

Yet, the church is surrounded and protected by the impenetrable defenses of hallowed tradition that dictates otherwise. Some matters, it appears, must remain dormant into the far distant future because there is ample indication that any attempt to revise this unmistakable generator of endless dialogue and debate, may bring with it certain chaos from every generation.

Concerning singing the response. One child out of thirteen respondents prefers the choir do all the singing in church. The remainder were strongly in favor of the congregation singing with the choir. The boys were of the opinion that people should not just stand there with nothing to do in worship. Singing along, they believe, is better than sitting silently. When the church is full of singing, they believe it is also heartfelt.

During the interviews when children seemed to speak with greater ease, they sounded as if there were no alternative to congregation-choir singing. This is the tradition to which they have been exposed all their lives at Saint Nicholas. They can conceive of no other form of worship. Listening to children speak about their traditions makes it much easier to understand the immigrant and the manner in which he expresses his traditional preferences about worship.

The little girls also are unanimous in favor of the congregation and choir singing together. They reason that it sounds nicer than when either sings alone. The choir helps the people sing, and when people sing, it means they love God and are not afraid of Him. For the children, therefore, there is more to singing than just raising voices and providing music and melody. There may be a curative aspect to singing which, for the little ones, is to dispel a formerly accumulated fear of God.

Concerning the recitation of liturgical prayers. Grammar school boys and girls are almost unanimous that the people should say the prayers softly together, or to themselves, following the leadership of the priest. One little boy feels it makes no difference who says the prayers. He maintains that people come to church to pray, and if they are to learn to say the prayers and understand their meaning, they should pray. He believes that the person who says the prayers, means them.

In discussions with the clergy, children stress that if the priest alone prays, then people are denied the opportunity to do so. They contend further that they can understand the prayers better when they learn to say them without books. They feel that having read them so many times, they have learned that the prayers are really intended for them to say.

Children seem to believe that prayers about themselves must not be read. People ought not to be focusing upon reading in church. This conviction is supported by many little children. They may not know fully the meaning of what they are parroting, but they are able, Sunday after Sunday, to do so without the use of the book. Nonetheless, the notion may be derived that they are praying about themselves (APPENDIX B, 257, H-2).

Concerning receiving Holy Communion. Grammar school children receive Holy Communion always. They have developed a tradition at Saint Nicholas, in their lifetime, that is much different from that of their immigrant grandparents or great-grandparents. Certainly there are differences in religious practice in divine worship among parents which usually results in confused religious identity for the children. The mother's worship practices differ from those of the father.

Little boys, therefore, are eager to join the ranks of the altar boys where they all do the same things. They worship in the same fashion, carry the same crosses, say the same prayers, receive Communion together every Sunday, place their offerings in the offering plates, and run off to Sunday school together after they receive Communion.

Mothers and fathers do different things. Sometimes Father does not go to church; he may not hold the hymnal in church; he may not participate in the responses; he may not sing; he may not receive Communion while mother almost never misses. Whom to emulate? They develop their own traditions.

There is a clear, definite purpose for going to church to worship on Sunday as far as the children are concerned. They maintain that the celebration of the liturgy is incomplete without receiving Holy Communion. They believe that reason to be fundamental. They contend that Jesus commands that we do so. They insist that there is no other purpose for going to church on Sunday. Finally, they feel they "don't do right" when they avoid Communion. During discussion, they confess they feel guilty all week when they miss the Lord's invitation and it is wiped away only when they receive Communion on the following Sunday -- if their parents take them to church. Many of them imply that parents are not helping them become better Christians when they do not take them to church on Sunday.

Concerning the method of distributing Holy Communion. Without exception, although one child has no preference how Holy Communion is dispensed, all respondents prefer the traditional λαβίς. The mode of dispensation does not seem to enter into their thinking, nor does it seem to be a matter of preference for one fashion over another. They were offered many choices in the questionnaire, but they were unanimous in their preference for the λαβίς.

They contend that Christ is Christ no matter what and that the result is the same however one receives Communion. The boy who had no preference stated simply that he was not the priest and, therefore, it was not his decision to make. The clergy who administered the project and conducted the interviews were astounded that little children could or would respond in this fashion.

The manner in which Holy Communion is dispensed is not at issue with grammar school children. The observation may be made that their faith is so strong at this stage of their lives that they do not consider it appropriate to question whether one mode of dispensing is any more effective or desirable than another (APPENDIX B, 269, G-1).

Grammar school children presented a refreshing perspective for the language concern that engages the total congregation who want to worship in a meaningful, understanding way. The children, much differently from the way parents and grandparents set out to accomplish their goals, are willing to tolerate the use of additional languages in worship if it serves the spiritual and language needs of other Christians who are members of their church.

The εικovoστάσιov, on the other hand, is no cause for conflict. They approve heartily of the completely see-through screen that enables them to have sight and knowledge of that which is done in the sanctuary. They are inclined to favor being seen by the priest who ought to be facing them. The former faith experience of most parents has been in denominations in which worship was done facing the pastor. They maintain that therein lies the assurance that the Lord is aware of their presence and, they believe, they can hear and understand better.

Incense is very popular. They ask only that it be used sparingly. Kneeling is a sign of humility and respect for God. It must be preserved. It would be nice for many reasons if boys and girls could serve together in worship since they are equal in the sight of God. They understand, however, that tradition strictly forbids it more so than many other customs.

Their need to participate is probably the strongest of all desires in Orthodox worship. They contend that only when a person says a prayer and sings a hymn does it have any meaning for the person praying and singing. They assert that they go to church for those reasons, and to deny them the opportunity to participate is in violation of the intent for which the Lord commands they worship.

Receiving Holy Communion in the traditional manner with the λαβίς has been the most intriguing of all revelations unveiled by the youngest parishioners. They never reject the invitation of the Lord to "receive" because it is the Lord's command. The church of the future is in good hands.

Table 4 interprets responses as indicating a preference for no change/change/no preference in each of the areas surveyed. The first column indicates the number of

TABLE 4.--RESPONSES BY GRAMMAR SCHOOL CHILDREN INDICATING NO-CHANGE AND CHANGE PREFERENCES (Totals: 7 Males, 6 Females, 130 Responses)

males and females who desire no change in traditional worship practices. The second column indicates the number of those desiring change in certain areas of worship. The third column indicates the number who have no preference.

From among all the generations, the grammar school boys take the position of their immigrant great-grandparents that girls do not belong in the sanctuary. And since tradition favors their position, they lean on "tradition" for support. At no other time in the project did they lean as heavily on "tradition."

The children's responses, so direct, so firm, so genuine and so pure, with no hidden agendas are, nonetheless, disquieting. This is, precisely, the age when children begin puzzling about the disparity between what they believe they need and what is made available to them by people all around them who tell them they love them. How does a priest deal with the child's questions? Concerning his response to a child who asked him "How can I see God?" Archbishop Iakovos said,

Such questions from children are disturbing for me . . . because the question enters my own heart and becomes my personal prayer for understanding. Immediately after I heard this boy ask me how he could see God, I found myself asking silently, "How can I see God?"[3]

The little boy's question to His Eminence is the kind every clergyman hears often in his ministry. He anguishes, as the Archbishop anguishes, and feels a sense of abandonment when he finally concedes that there is nothing he can do to fully resolve the need of the child. Instead of attempting to provide an immediate answer, like the wise man of antiquity he attempts to help the child place his feet in the direction of the mountain peak looming above the clouds in the great beyond and -- start walking! Perhaps the child will do better if he is encouraged to find the answer for himself.

The responses of children at the youngest level are of great significance because they come from the early period of life when parents still believe that they are able to make an impact on the child's future. Yet, the family discovers only too soon, that it is very difficult to find even the time to dine together with their children.

Some families find that the only activity they can do together is worship. Hopefully, they will be able to help their children come to know God. The priest should be able to bring the children a little closer to God, they believe. That is his job! Trustingly, the children open their hearts and pour out their needs for the parents and the church to fulfill, so they may come to know God and make Him pilot of their lives.

The responses given by children to the questions in this and other projects are blue prints that the children fashion instinctively for filling their spiritual needs in their day. Children discover very quickly that they will be confronted for the rest of their lives with the notion that the same forms of worship are considered proper for every person in the family and the congregation at large, regardless of age.

At some plateau in their lives, children ask for what they consider to be more appropriate forms of worship for them, and the Church responds, "For centuries this is how our predecessors have worshiped, and you must do the same."

Some people, young and old, feel the Church appears rigid and inflexible today to those who ought to compose it tomorrow. Is it not possible, they ask, for people to know what is best for them and for the Church to discover that she can provide it without offending the fundamentals upon which worship is based? Worship is just as beneficial in one language as it is in another but may have far greater meaning to people if it is in their native tongue.

Conversely, it is not proper to change things for people who are not in need of new worship designs. In that event, more worship forms may be required. This, of course, may mean that a priest's work may increase beyond his capacity to serve effectively by himself.

Therein, finally, may lie the actual difficulty: how to provide multiple worship services when, in some cases, more than one priest is necessitated by tradition?[4]

Under the present conditions in which the Church is ministering to its flock in diaspora, it is impossible to fill the spiritual needs of all. That said, it may be ample to do that which can be done in the best and most beneficial manner possible. To anguish about what cannot be done is an exercise in futility that is capable, ultimately, of depressing even the more enthusiastic of the Lord's disciples.

To the child who asks how he can see God, one answer that may be good enough for anyone, of any age, is "In God's good time, my child, in God's good time...you will see God!"

[1] Elizabeth Achtemeier, The Committed Marriage. (Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1976), 80.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Archbishop Iakovos, Faith for a Lifetime. (New York: Doubleday, 1988), 4-5.

[4] White, New Forms of Worship, 33-37.